At the moment I do not know where I am from a psychological point of view. I am doing my best. I am keeping a routine. I am taking my medication.
My mother has seen me and her opinion was that I am doing great. I sometimes believe this too. I am well, depression is gone and I can function properly. Maybe I’ve never been depressed!
These are dangerous thoughts. I need to take a step back every time and reassess the situation. Am I really better being given that my insomnia is back? What about my mood swings? Why do they happen?
Am I that good at taming my dark thoughts? I’ve always recovered quite fast after a breakdown.
I’m living in the extremes. Intensity is what I am feeling right now, but in the evening I might feel empty. Maybe I am not patient enough. I am aware that I only started this higher dose of treatment 3 months ago. I am aware that I still need to do a lot in therapy even if we managed to go way underneath the surface from the first sessions…
It’s one of that times when insecurity seems to take over. Going to carry on!