BD and BPD

When was the last time I posted? Too long ago. My life got crazy busy. I am back home for one month before I have to return to studies and give my best. It’s my final year.

Health-wise, it’s been a bumpy ride. Mixed episodes and…something that is called “splitting” and is one of the Borderline Personality Disorder traits. Long story short, I lost friends. I’ve been mean, angry, finding every flaw. I was scared that I am going to be abandoned so I pushed them away, to spare some of the hurt.

I have so many questions about these two disorders. Is Borderline just another form of Bipolar? How do I recognize when my Borderline is showing up, because the irritability and lack of consideration for others can appear during hypomania as well. These comorbid disorders are confusing, draining, and making my head spin.

I read my medical file from my pdoc. There is no clear mention of Bipolar or Borderline. I’ve been told that doctors don’t mention it because they think it’s for the good of the patient. The terms he used to describe my history clearly show that I am struggling with this, though.No labels, just the indications, so my next doctor will be able to understand the diagnosis.

I am home now. I am a bit hyper, but peaceful? I am going to rest and maybe work on a small landscaping project for my flower garden.

I am hoping for the best!

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