When depression is here, her main and most important “gift” is a pair of grey tinted glasses that make me unable to see the good things around me, especially the good things about myself. I am doing my best not to become cranky, angry and to protect the ones I love from my colourless and mean little self.
Feeling as deeply as I do is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, caring too much for others and leaving myself behind was one of the main triggers of my depression. On the other hand, caring so deeply is the thing that saves me.
Being there for others can make me or break me, but I am willing to take this risk. There have been situations when I managed to put all this storm of thoughts behind and do my best to help a friend. I want to carry on this way…it’s a step in the process of finding that perfect balance between being soft and strong.