I woke up thinking about this. About having support but not feeling it, being numb to it and sometimes finding it annoying when people cross a certain imaginary boundary I created. I am sensitive when people bring up my mistakes and I become grumpy. I know that friends aren’t supposed to point out only the nice things and ignore the bad ones. I know this very well and I am grateful to have somebody who can watch the situation in an objective way and see the bigger picture.
It’s hard to let somebody know about what’s going on inside your head. I am still questioning if maybe I shouldn’t have let my guard down so soon. This eternal struggle of questioning and overanalyzing is draining all my energy.
I guess I need somebody to hold me for a couple of minutes without saying a thing. I don’t need to be understood. I don’t need advice. I don’t want to be reminded about why I am where I am at the moment. Let me be and let me grow. This is my idea of support at the moment. You can call me selfish if you want. It doesn’t really matter.